I will shortly be posting the first of ten interviews that I am conducting with straight women and men who are (or were) married to gay men and women. Before I do, I wanted to mention a few things:
- Some of these straight spouses are used to the bickering of the blogosphere, but others are not. I imagine some of them will be following comment threads and may even respond to additional questions you might have, so above all please be respectful and considerate.
- The plural of anecdote is not data. I’m not out to prove anything with these interviews, and I hope you won’t attempt to either. These women and men are being kind enough to share their stories and their thoughts with us because their perspectives might shed light on a complex issue (or because I asked them to and/or blackmailed them into it), not because they want to prove that ALL mixed-orientation marriages are superfabulous or that ALL mixed-orientation marriages are doomed to fail. I hope you’ll take these interviews as an opportunity to understand a fellow human being who is in a situation that is likely different from your own.
- I don’t pretend to be an unbiased interviewer–I am, after all, married to one of my interviewees. I do, however, try to let the biases of the interviewee flavor the interview more than my own. I’m not actively LDS, for example, but all of my interviewees are, so I’ve tried to base any assumptions behind my questions in their beliefs, not mine. Because everything else in the world may be all about me, but these interviews are not.
- If you think this foreword is long, wait’ll you see the interviews. I’ve been quite pleased to see how much these straight spouses have to say. I’m posting the interviews in their entirety because I want to let these women and men speak for themselves. I think that what they have to say is worth the time to sit down and read, but I’ll post a collection of highlights after all ten interviews are completed, to be sure those of you who skim don’t miss the best parts.