How Nicholas Cage Affirmed My Masculinity
Thanks, Nick! Don’t ask me why I thought of this today. OK, OK, ask!
1st Annual Women of Worth (WoW) Conference Summary
NOTE: As preface to this Women of Worth (WoW) Conference report, the North Star Executive Committee would like to reiterate that North Star was founded with the hope of fostering spiritually supportive community and of connecting people with people within a believing Latter-day Saint environment, so that individuals dealing with issues around same-sex attraction—including family members and friends—could help and support one another in living true to their faith and value systems as Latter-day Saints. It was founded not simply with the intent of being a resource unto itself, but rather of empowering individuals to create and share their own resources to help educate themselves and their family, friends, and Church leaders as they strive to become integrated more fully and lovingly into the Church community.
The Women of Worth Conference is one example of the fulfillment of that mission.
Another of the means created to accomplish this is the North Star Online Discussion Groups, one of which is specifically for spouses of men and women who experience same-sex attraction. As the women of the Spouses group discussed the dearth of helpful resources for spouses, they decided to create their own. Together, they discussed and planned and made the choice to be proactive in taking care of their own needs as spouses, volunteering to share their own experiences as presenters, as well as inviting professionals who have spent much of their careers assisting individuals and couples with similar stories.
The following is a report of the 1st Annual Women of Worth (WoW) Conference.
The Best Possible Test
There are two ways to approach the question of the Church’s position on the California Marriage Initiative. In the first approach, the discussions may be political, explaining why this or that policy might be preferable to the one the Church is supporting. These discussions could also be judgmental, explaining how the Church’s position might be seen as hateful or knee-jerk or seen as unfairly singling out a particular segment of the population. All this has its place, of course. But there is a second approach that I want to emphasize and focus on here for a moment.
So I’m Without Natural Affection? Me?
It was my turn to teach the high priest quorum. I do that once a month. I know that my same-sex attraction thing is known to a small handful of men in ward that I’ve chosen to discuss it with. Add to that anyone who bothers to spend much time on the internet.
Going With the Flow
From a post I did on my LDSR site:
I finally went to college in my forties and graduated at fifty. It’s an accomplishment that I claim some pride in, since I’m the first generation in all of my lineage to get a college degree. It felt good and it has been of great value to me.
Man Crushes, Man Dates, Bromances, and Buddymoons
I did a little research on man crushes because, well, I have one. Several of them, in fact. What’s a “man crush,” you ask? The definition I’ve pulled together from the variations I like best is this:
“An intense infatuation that one man holds for another man in a non-romantic or non-sexual way; it could include a strong idolization or desire to be like the other man.”
The recent cultural hype is kind of a funny phenomenon. But the concept is as old as time, and the fact that it’s taking this long for a cultural evolution that allows a man to have a “non-gay” crush on another man is disappointing. Nevertheless, here we are with men openly defining and celebrating their man crushes:
A Community of Saints (whether I like it or not)
When I came home from work a few days after starting my new job, my wife asked, “So, what’s the best thing about the new job?”
The first thing to come into my mind was the fact that my office is located in a much quieter location than my previous office and I don’t have the annoying interruptions and background noise that I had at the previous office space. But since that’s not really an aspect of my job, instead I responded, “I appreciate how motivated this new group is. These people want to learn and are willing to work hard to get results.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, “Good. I was worried that you were going to say that the new quiet office with no interruptions was the best part.” Boy, does she know me. Apparently it’s no secret. I’m not a people person.
Warm
I want to talk about playasinmar’s comment on my Dirty Minded post where he said:
Crikey! I’ve had to say, “Don’t flatter yourself,” at some point to every straight I’ve ever told my big secret too.
I have no doubt about this. I’ve experienced the same thing, except not so universally. I’m probably not as attractive as he is, but I don’t think it’s as much about our attractiveness as about an unfortunate stereotype.
What it takes to get me to write…
It has obviously been a while since I posted due to a crazy life right now. So this must be something big! In fact, it was two big somethings.
First was the WOW conference for the wives of men with SSA. It was held June 20-21 and it was wonderful! For those of you who were able to attend yourself or know someone who attended, I hope you agree.
We were able to hear from David and Peggy Matheson, Dan Gray, and Stephen Cramer and his wife, along with many great discussions. Lots of growth took place and as well as great commitment to improve ourselves as individuals, improve our support of our husband, but also a commitment to be “co-dependent no more!”