The other night we watched a movie called The Sea Inside (El mar adentro in Spanish). It won the Academy Award for best foreign film a few years ago, but I don’t think very many people have heard of it our watched it. A description of the movie probably doesn’t it make it sound all that interesting; not only is it a subtitled film, it’s a drama about a quadriplegic who wants the right to kill himself.
A good friend and I were recently discussing same-sex attraction. He has always shown himself to be empathetic, even though he has a reputation as a tough guy–former under-sheriff for a large metropolitan county.
Hope is a wonderful thing. It’s part of the faith, hope, and charity trio of virtues, and in a world where a lot of bad stuff happens on a regular basis, it can be what keeps a person going. I hope I do well on a test. I hope I can find some friends when I move to a new area. I hope I’ll be happy. It seems like it’d be a sin to stomp on anyone’s hopes. On the other hand, I’ve had a few hopes in my life I’ve had to sneak up behind with a crow bar and beat to death. And I think that might be a good thing to do when the hope in question isn’t one that comes after faith or before charity.
Today is the one year anniversary of Northern Lights. The objective we set out to accomplish was to foster an online community that would provide support and fellowship to faithful church members through online conversation regarding homosexuality and related issues. There’s still a great need for such a community, and I hope we can improve Northern Lights to be more effective in addressing that need.
I have had varying reactions from people when I tell them about my own attractions to women. They range from negative to supportive and even have a few in between. Sometimes I get those reactions even when I’m just talking about the topic, not in relation to myself. My favorite reaction I’ve seen thus far is the mouth falling open and the eyes blinking at least three times in rapid succession. Yet … Honestly I’m often disappointed with reactions like that.
On March 29th, a new documentary on the “ex-gay” movement premiered at the 2008 Birmingham SHOUT Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. Most Latter-day Saints probably don’t know (or care) much about the traditional Christian “ex-gay” movement and its critics (even though LDS-themed groups, such as Evergreen International, often get lumped in with groups such as the evangelical Christian “ex-gay” umbrella organization Exodus International). But what may be of interest to some is that this documentary features a fairly prominent Latter-day Saint in SSA-related circles, David Matheson. David runs the Center for Gender Wholeness in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is a co-creator of the Journey into Manhood weekend retreat.
As my first post to the site, Ty suggested that I reproduce a post I shared with him a few years ago when we first met. I’ve added my updated comments following the original post. The topic: Telling Family.
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This is something that I’m sure many of you have been through, or have considered doing. About a year ago I decided I couldn’t live with this secret any longer. I was tired of feeling as though I was living a double-life, I wanted to be free from the paranoia of others finding out my secret. I wanted to be honest with myself and with my family.
I love how Heavenly Father loves us all. Being a teacher, I can kind of understand. Even though I have some holy terrors in my class, I have moments of tenderness and mutual love from each student. Now I only have 24 students, but I can see each of their individual talents, strengths, weaknesses, and love. It pleases me to no end when they are following the rules, working hard, and getting along. And when they aren’t, my heart aches for them. All I want is for them to be happy and able to participate in all things because they are doing what they are supposed to be doing.
I am not sure why I feel inclined to write about this at this time but here it goes…..
While serving my mission many years ago I had the opportunity to be in a ward that struggled with welcoming the black people that several of us missionaries were teaching. Please know this does not mean every member but unfortunately more members then not. Since I was small I have never understood such prejudice. I remember crying and having to leave the classroom when I was in the 6th grade because they were teaching us about the KKK and that kind of hate just ripped into my heart. So here I am in a ward where I am supposed to serve and love and struggling greatly. Each Sunday my heart grew colder and colder to these members as I watched their expressions and actions towards the few black people that attended. Then one fast Sunday as people bore their testimonies and I sat in judgment the spirit came and spoke to me very clearly and firmly as I was told that I was just as wrong as they were if not worse and that they were Gods children every bit as much as I was and that he loved them every bit as much as he did me. I was greatly humbled at this call to repentance. I did not understand as I felt so “right” in my judgment. But I knew I had been called to repent.
I’ve decided to introduce myself by resurrecting an oldy from my personal blog. It’s an essential list everyone should have. So without further ado, I present the newly revised “He Might Be a Moho If…”
OK, if you’ve ever looked at your “soft male” co-worker and thought, “He’s either gay or mormon,” this is for you. I expect a little group participation here, because I am only one man with a limited perspective. I also am not adept, yet, at singling out female mohos, so I must speak from a male perspective. Now, you’ve got the more common stereotypes indicating a fair degree of homoness (e.g. has every Christina Aguilera album, gestures a lot while talking, often involving flopping of a hand, is too well dressed to pass it off even as “metrosexual”, or seems undaunted by ample cleavage bursting from a low-cut V-neck but loses all power of speech when the ripped, scantily-clad stud approaches at the pool party…I mean, I imagine *cough*).
But this is meant to be a list of some more subtle signs
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